October 4, 2006 by PunsNotGunsPeaceBlog.

Habeas Corpus Detained Indefinitely As Enema Combatant

Vice president Bush conceded that the latest U.S. political prisoner, identified only as Habeas Corpus, is being detained indefinitely.  Bush cited that the suspect clearly fits the profile of ‘Latin origin,” possibly even Columbian or Venezuelan, indicating “foreign sympathies.”  Mr. Bush said that in his regular meeting with government linguists, he learned that they had intercepted a communication from a “known leftist professor” regarding “some dead language.”  Mr. Corpus was arrested after National Security Agency analysts identified “numerous and undeniable” references to him by “American Civil Liberties Union lawyers, known Democrats, and others known to risk national security for the rule of law; plus a shit-load of secret evidence.”  An ACLU spokeswomen did admit, “Habeas Corpus is a critical agent as an enema combatant in this bull shit war.”  Mr. Bush rebuked reporters saying, “even reporting on the detention of Habeas Corpus could endanger true Americans.  But, I’ve had to put up with countless ordeals at the hands of a free press.  I just hope that it happens quickly.  It is my conviction that mine will be a speedy trial.”

Top Pun’s Funny News may not be completely factual, but it has a frighteningly close resemblance to the truth.  Any reference to president George W. Bush does not imply that he is an actual president.  For more great funny political satire slogans & sayings check out TopPun.com - Maximizing Prophets

Posted in Funny Headlines and News, News Commentary, Anti-Bush, Anti-War, Peace, Uncategorized | Print | No Comments »

September 28, 2006 by PunsNotGunsPeaceBlog.

Bush Attacks Own Intelligence in Iraq, Causes Civil War

The war in Iraq has become a “cause célèbre” for Islamic militants, “breeding a deep resentment” of the United States in the Muslim world, according to declassified excerpts from a major intelligence report.   “The Iraqi jihad is shaping a new generation of terrorist leaders and operatives; perceived jihadist success there would inspire more fighters to continue the struggle elsewhere,” the excerpts said.

Vice president Bush suffered a violent reaction to his own intelligence in Iraq, causing “confusion,” or as the rest of the world calls it, “civil war.”  In a boldly honest move, Bush had the controversial report declassified as intelligence, citing, “The National Intelligence Estimate is just an estimate, and more often than not I have to live with almost immeasurably small quantities of intelligence.  Not reading stuff definitely leads to confusion; trust me, I know.  I’ve read most of the three pages of excerpts from the full document, a freakin’ novel at 30 pages.  Now, I am less confused than I’ve ever been.  Democrats want to ‘de-class-ify’ everything, as if we were talking about some class war here.  This is about the permanent war on Islamo-fascism.  The American people will now be able to judge if there is any class at all in what we are doing, and I think not!”

Top Pun’s Funny News may not be completely factual, but it has a frighteningly close resemblance to the truth.  Any reference to president George W. Bush does not imply that he is an actual president.  For more great funny political satire slogans & sayings check out TopPun.com - Maximizing Prophets

Posted in Funny Headlines and News, News Commentary, Anti-Bush, Anti-War, Peace, Uncategorized | Print | No Comments »

September 26, 2006 by PunsNotGunsPeaceBlog.

Bush Declares Iraq War Will One Day Look Like a Coma

CNN aired an interview with President Bush in which he declared that one day the Iraq war will look like “just a comma.”   The National Intelligence Estimate declared that the war in Iraq has increased Islamic radicalism, worsening the overall terror threat, cutting at the heart of the White House defense of its strategy.  The assessment “should put the final nail in the coffin for President Bush’s phony argument about the Iraq war,” Senator Edward M. Kennedy (D-MA) said in a statement.  Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) said that “my feeling is the war in Iraq has intensified Islamic fundamentalism and radicalism.”  But the Senate majority leader, Billl Frist, said “we are going to be fighting this battle, this war overseas, or it’s going to be right here in this country.”
 

Vice president Bush put the controversy to rest when he corrected his statement, “After a good night’s sleep and reflecting on my presidency, what I meant to say was that one day the Iraq war will look like just a coma.”